To Rise And Fall

Falling in love is the most terrifying thing in the world for a girl like me. For a girl who's experienced a lifetime of pain, it's not easy to let someone in. It's definitely not easy to break down your walls after having to rebuild them so many times. For a girl who worries about the smallest, tiniest detail, it's hard to find it in yourself to allow someone to come into your world just so they can stay for a while and then run at the first sight of danger.

I have been in love before. I have found it in myself to let my walls down and allow someone to become my everything, and it lasted for a while. It lasted for a few years. Everything was good, perfect in the most imperfect way. We were good together, we became each other's everything. But, as a wise man once told me, all good things must come to an end. It's not that we fell out of love, that's farther from the truth. I guess life just wasn't willing to give us forever like we desperately wanted. We had our entire life together planned out down to the very last detail. My first great love. Why did it have to end so tragically?

After our tragic end, I closed myself off. I didn't let anyone in, I couldn't let anyone in. And then all of a sudden I found myself surrounded by people and a place that I fell in love with instantly. College and the people that came along with it somehow found a way to break down my walls. Suddenly I found myself falling in love all over again, all of those feelings that I tried so hard to bury came bubbling to the surface and I was feeling everything at once. It was as if I was feeling them all for the very first time. What was supposed to be the best time of my life turned into a learning curve. I had no idea that it was so easy to fall in love. Of course, I've heard the stories about people falling in love at first sight, but I didn't believe it to be true until I felt it for myself. I felt the happiness, the excitement. and then before it could blossom into something beautiful, it crashed and burned. 

I was broken in a way that I had never been broken before. How could a guy I barely knew have so much power over me? It's a simple answer really, I mean, I'm only human. I was so heartbroken and I couldn't understand why I was so heartbroken. We once flew so high, but somehow we fell feet first. Something that ended just as fast as it began. We burned so bright that we were bound to burn out, a fire can't burn forever right? That was a new low for me. 

The second time I fell in love. I have fallen in love for the third time in my life. It seems like he came out of nowhere. He picked me up when I was feeling down. The kind of guy who brings me paper towels instead of tissues to dry my tears. He knew exactly what I was thinking even though he was simply taking a shot in the dark. All he does is lift me up, he never tears me down. He'll do anything to see me laugh, he never ceases to make me smile. He is everything I've ever wanted. He is the reason that I have begun to believe that the third time around really is the greatest. 

Love and Life are a roller coaster of ups and downs. We fall only to rise again. Don't give up on love, it's out there. You just have to let it happen on its own. You just might be surprised by the outcome.

Because a wise man once told me that all good things must come to an end so that they can be reborn into something beautiful.